Since our wedding, it has been a joy to watch the Lord bring several other couples together in marriage, and be able to send gifts to them as our own household now! Knowing what an unspeakable blessing so many dear ones’ generosity to us was as we started out, it is always fun to browse through registries and pick out “the perfect thing” for those we love as they too start their lives together.
Often though, I have been very surprised at what I have seen. Perhaps these different couples were already well set up for their new home, and so really had very few needs, but the most common theme I have seen is registries that were surprisingly tiny (or had a very odd selection of items… more on that later)! This, along with the fact that multiple people have been asking questions about the delights of wedding preparations recently, made me get excited about it all over again! Hopefully the thoughts below (listed in no particular order) will be of use to you if you are setting up a wedding registry, or even creating a baby shower or other type of list! All credit goes to my mom, sisters, Aunt Miriam, and many others from whom we learned when doing ours… and from whom I am still learning! Enjoy!
- Put at least one item on your registry for every person that you invite to your wedding. Not every family, and not everyone that rsvp’s positively… EVERY PERSON YOU INVITE. If you invite 200 guests, then make sure there is a minimum of 200 items. This will help ensure a multitude of options for those desiring to give to you. Remember that even those who cannot attend the wedding will still often send a gift.
- That last sentence brings up the next thought: DISMISS the idea that lots of items means you are greedy or expecting everything that is on the list. I too struggled with this… it seemed so selfish to load our registry down with so many things, but in reality (and I see this more every time I go to purchase for someone else!) it is actually kinder to have lots of options for them to choose from. You may or may not receive anywhere close to all that you put on, but the more you have on there the easier it is for others to find something they really want to send you. (Keep in mind too that the store you register with often gives a discount to you for any item you don’t receive, that you would still like to purchase for yourselves after the wedding.)
- Have a TON of variety in price range! From $1-2 kitchen gadgets, to the $500 mixer you have always dreamed of and everything in between, the more variety you have, the better. This allows your rich dentist uncle to give a gift he is really happy about, but also allows for several smaller purchases by the large family who loves you dearly but cannot afford anything over $15. Obviously there will probably be more of the cheaper items, and that is great, but don’t be afraid to put the big ones on too.
- Plan ahead and think about how you hope to decorate your future home, even if you don’t know exactly where you will be living yet; this will help tremendously when selecting items that are color/style-specific. Recently someone asked me where I obtained some something in our home (if I remember correctly it matched our gray and yellow kitchen or coral laundry room perfectly), and my response was that ___ gave it to us from our registry! They looked at me, shocked – “You knew your colors before you registered?!” Yes (and we did not know what our apartment/house would be like until 3-4 weeks before the wedding)! You should too. 🙂 Or at least have a good idea for the main areas (kitchen, living room, master bedroom, master bathroom).
- Think outside the box, and remember to register for more than just the normal homemaking items. Board games, tools (or gift cards to well-known hardware stores), a cooler, camping gear, beach towels, organizational shelving/storage bins, books, essential oils, spices, household paper products, candles, and on and on are all great ideas! For this, we enjoyed using a registry compilation site (like MyRegistry.com), which allowed us to pool items from places where we had set up an actual registry (Bed, Bath, & Beyond or Amazon, for instance), as well as those sites which did not offer one or for which it wasn’t worth it for the small number of items we included (music from the Wilds, a gift card from Lowe’s, etc.).
- While you are thinking outside the box, give consideration to your givers as well. You may be avid football fans, but packing your registry completely full of team-specific cups and accessories may not be the best idea. 😉 A few of your favorite items might be fine, but be considerate of the thoughts/beliefs/values of those who will be purchasing from your registry, and be sure to have a great supply of general items.
- If at all possible, compile the bulk of your registry together as a couple. Not only is this a ton of fun, 😉 but it provides an excellent opportunity to learn more of each other’s tastes and preferences, whether that be the kind of toaster you each grew up with, what kind of vacuum cleaner is most cost efficient, or whether or not your travel cups are monogrammed!
- Again if possible, take your mom, sister, and/or another trusted friend with you to register as well. It worked beautifully for us this way! Even for someone like me who just LOVES thinking through the aspects of operating a home, the process of trying to think of everything can be overwhelming. While Daniel and I were making bigger decisions (dishes, flatware, etc.), my dear Mama and sister were with us and added a ton of the smaller things they knew we needed… they ALSO helped us not get lost in all the choices, remember that we might need more than just one blanket in our house, 🙂 and on and on. Their help was invaluable!!
- Don’t agonize over decisions. Register with places that have good return policies, and remember that it is perfectly acceptable to return gifts if you need to or change your mind.
- Finally, remember that each registry is unique. Just like you and your soon-to-be spouse… that is the way the Lord has designed it, and it is beautiful!
Do you have any other thoughts or ideas? Please leave a comment and share them!